REPOST: Like a Father (Dec. 2, 2010)

This is another repost from a while back. Just another story I'd like to share. 

"Everyone leaves footprints in your memory, but the ones that leave footprints in your heart are the ones you will truly remember."

- Nicholas Sperling

I finally found the time to visit my old high school principal today. He got transferred to another high school (from the one I graduated from) this year, and fortunately he stayed until I graduated last year. With the changes happening-- him changing schools and me graduating-- I didn't realize how difficult it was going to be to stay in touch. Today was the first time I've seen him in about six months. The last time I saw him, I had tears streaming down my face because the reality that my journey through high school-- the place that I've grown so accustomed to-- was ending. 

Today, as I sat in his new office, I began reminiscing about the good old days. We talked for over an hour and during that time we updated each other on our new environments, things about our families, our lives. It was so easy to talk to him, and it took me right back to before when I would sit in his office, just talking. He was such a big part of my high school experience, he made high school memorable. Not every principal takes the time out to really get to know their students, not every principal cares. I think the one thing that really stuck in my mind that he said today was that me leaving high school can be paralleled to me leaving his life. "It's like you've been kicked out of my life." At this moment that I am writing this, tears are filling my eyes because I know how true that is. I don't want it to be happening, but it is. I miss him so much. He is honestly one of the few people I can be completely truthful with, the only person that really understands me. I can't even properly explain the joy I felt in seeing him again, in finally having the chance to talk to him. There were so many things that were said, and it was at that moment that I knew I can't let him out of my life, I just can't.

My parents are divorced, and each have remarried. I have a father and a stepfather. But neither of them have truly embodied the role of a father figure as he has. I'm not saying that they're not incredible people, it's just not the same. Starting university and venturing off on a new life, with everything that he's taught me, is such an exciting thing to do. But at the same time, it makes me realize that we can't always look forward. In no means should be dwell on the past, but I have to remember that the past has made me who I am. That the past will always be a part of me. I don't want to let go of someone that I care about so deeply because I am too focused on reaching whatever my destination is in the future. He has done so much for me and my family, and I just don't want him out of my life.

It's amazing how one conversation can completely change my entire outlook. I know what I need to do, what and who I want in my life. I need to make the effort to make sure that he stays in my life because he's someone that I never want to lose. I want to see him sitting in the audience when I graduate from university, I want him to be at my wedding, I want to keep him in my life. After four years of knowing each other, from the time he served as our basketball sponsor in grade nine to being someone I appreciate so much now, I know deep down in my heart that he'll always be there. Regardless of if we lose touch for a while. But I don't want that. I want to keep in around for as long as I can.

This man. He's amazing. He's just like a father to me.

C

REPOST: It's just not worth it (Nov. 4, 2010)

I wrote this a couple years back on another blog, and I thought I'd repost it. It's a good read.

We all have those moments when we overreact, when we allow our emotions to blind our rationality. There are times when we think our lives are over because of what is going on. But when we look back on it, it never seems to be that big of a deal. It may even be silly. When I was seven years old, my parents got divorced. I didn't go over the stereotypical stages of anger, depression or rebellion. I just accepted it. But deep down, I know it hurt me. I've always been mature for my age, I've always been able to cope with the most unfavourable events. I don't think I really started to realize how my parents' divorce got to me until I grew older. I love both of my parents, and I just knew that getting separated was the best thing for them. And it has been. During this time, my world was being torn apart, my life was being reassembled. And what was happening somewhere else, in the same city, during this time? Someone was killed by a car. A kid.

I just learned that when my friend was seven, he saw his best friend dying in front of him. A seven year old. People die everyday, but the life of a child? The last breathe of a little boy expiring being witnessed by his friend? This was the point my friend was forced to grow up, the point he realized that life is so fragile. All the arguments that seven year olds have, all the joy, everything; it was taken from him that day. All the while I thought my life was falling apart, someone else's was, literally. At the same time my family separated and my life was torn in two, someone else was being permanently separated from his family and his life was over.

It just amazes me how selfish humans are. It's so cliche to say that we take things for granted, that we rarely appreciate all the people in front of us, but it's the truth. Does that fight really matter? Is money really an issue? Are you really willing to let things that are so insignificant compared to the sacredness of life slip by because you're too stubborn to see what is right in front of you? Sometimes, whatever it is that's going on, whatever problems are happening, whoever is being stupid, it's just not worth it. 

C